WHAT YOU NEED

If you haven’t noticed by now, the Empowered approach to creating a state of optimal health in your life, is about more than your body. This is about creating a beautiful quality of life by caring for your whole Self. Yes, that is a capital “S” because you are so much more than just a body. Having made it this far into the contents of the book, I trust you agree with this perspective.

Allie’s Success Story

Allie (I did change her name, but not her beautiful story) began working with me during the hardest period of her life. She was in the midst of a divorce and “going through a fat clothes period” as she said the first time we met. What she shared during our initial meeting was her life-long struggle with food and her fear that she would never find love because of her weight. She also suffered from high blood pressure and was pre-diabetic based on the tests from her most recent doctor’s visit.

Clearly, Allie was at a critical point. Hers was not only a physical crisis, but a big-time emotional one. I’m not a counselor and I do not try to be, but I can listen.  She started working out several times a week and gradually her story emerged.

She got married right after college and settled into what she thought would be her life for years to come. Her career was satisfying and she and her husband were talking about having a baby. Sure, he had trouble getting traction in his work, but he was sure a new job would be the answer. Then again, maybe the next job would be the one. Of course, that one was too boring and the next one didn’t pay enough and on and on it went.

Four years into their marriage, Allie was working more than ever to support them and care for their infant daughter. Meanwhile, her husband had started having affairs and disappearing for days at a time. She told herself to work harder and it would be alright. She told herself, if she gave more he would be a better husband and father. She kept hoping she could do enough to keep their family together. 

Needless to say, Allie was neglecting herself during their six years of marriage. Her efforts to care for her daughter, make money and somehow make her husband happy left no time for her. Her weight ballooned because she lived on soda and junk food. Her decision to hire a trainer was the first thing she had done for herself in a long time.

Yes, there is a happy ending to Allie’s story. She started eating consciously with the help of a food journal. Ever the overachiever, she has become an expert in nutrition. She worked with me three times a week and walked with her daughter almost every day for exercise. Oh yeah, her blood pressure and fasting glucose levels are normal now and she has lost 50 pounds. In short, she started caring for herself and now she can better care for her daughter and new husband. Go Allie!

What Do You Need?

Like Allie, I bet you don’t get asked that question very often, and if you do, it’s probably in regard to your basic needs for safety, food and shelter. What you will dig into now are your deeper needs. That is, what energizes you, excites you with the possibilities and inspires you to take action?

This process is best done if you are alone in a quiet atmosphere. First, there will be a short breathing exercise. Then, you will write freely and without thinking about what emerges. As always, use a paper and pen to encourage the connection between your body and mind.

Revealing Your Needs

1.   Sit in a chair with your feet on the ground and close your eyes. 

2.   Take three deep breathes and long inhales. (This will calm your body and clear your mind.)

3.   Now, think of a time when you felt at ease, grounded and worry-free. If you think you can’t, take another few breathes and allow it to emerge. Maybe it was a day at the beach, or an afternoon reading a good book, or after a good night’s sleep.

4.   Once you have the incident in mind, tune into your feelings. How do you feel? Light? Energized? Serene?

5.   When you open your eyes sit with how you feel for a few moments. 

When you are ready, read the following list and decide the experiences you need more of in your life. Use this as a simple starting point to begin to manifest more of the good feelings you have from the exercise. Add any others you desire, which are not on the list. 

Have fun with this! You deserve it!

Peace

Fun

Joy

Love

Strength

Creativity

Curiosity

Self-worth

Quiet

Engagement

Vitality

Inspiration

Solitude

Sensuality

Confidence

Clarity

Energy

Happiness

Calm

Focus

Openness

Verve

Relaxation

Playfulness

Spirituality

Meaning

Give Yourself Permission

 What did you learn? Are you giving yourself the peace or solitude or engagement you need? You have identified some of the feelings you want to more often experience. Next you will link what you desire with what you do to care for yourself. This is your chance to stop “shoulding” all over yourself and make self-care a priority.

Choose one feeling you wish to have in your life on a daily basis. Imagine making this emotion part of your everyday life. Really feel it in your body. If this is a challenge, close your eyes and silently repeat the word to yourself. Then, follow the process below and give yourself permission to prioritize your health.

1.   Create time for yourself each day. Seriously, even 5 minutes!

2.   Feeling the emotion you wish to have more of in your life, choose an activity which gives you more of that goodness.

3.   Prioritize this time and put it on your schedule. Right now!

4.   Enjoy and repeat tomorrow and the next day and the next…